The Man with 2 People in His Profile Pics

Get a great message from Tim.  He says we have a lot in common so I read up on him and he’s right!  He’s funny and chill- I like this.  I’m confused though… he has 4 pics on his profile and they look like they are of 2 different people.  Neither are BAD, I’m just concerned that when we meet I won’t know who to look for!  We agree to meet up for a game of pool and a beer (perfect!) I get food poisoning and have to reschedule for the next night.  As I’m getting ready I’m literally puking up my lunch, but I feel horrible rescheduling AGAIN so I suck it up and tell myself I can muscle through a beer. 

It was a beautiful night and Tim did well getting to our location early to secure a  patio table.  Luckily when I arrived my stomach has settled and there is only one table on the whole patio with just  1 person sitting at it.  So I figure this must be Tim.  Good thing he was the only lonely person on the table because he didn’t look like either of the people in his profile!  I think I had a good poker face but upon sitting down I thought “ya, this isn’t going to happen”.  Still, I knew I owed it one drink.  As we’re sitting he asks if I’m going to eat.  I HATE being the girl who doesn’t eat on a date, so I explain that I’ve had some tummy trouble and I would normally eat but I just don’t think I can and… he says he wasn’t going to eat either.  I say “sooo, I didn’t need to tell you about my digestive problems within the first 5 minutes of meeting you?  Cool.”  The fun continues…

It’s a little windy tonight, but you know Midwesterners.  Its above 50 and its PATTIIOOO SEASSOOONN.  Seriously, we’ll sit out there through some shit (“oh its just sprinkling!  It will pass”, “The sun will set soon, seriously”).  We are enjoying our 1 beverage when all of a sudden a gust of wind comes and picks up the menu (which we’re not ordering off of) and knocks over a glass of water and my beer.  All. On. To.Me.  Glass shatters, the crowd “ooohhhs” and I even hear a “well, that makes for an akward first date!”.  Awesome.  I try to clean myself off and suck it up.  Must finish this beer.  Considering I had nothing in my stomach I got alittle tipsy from my one beer, which actually kind of helped the situation.  Conversation was ok, definitely some lags.  You know when Netflix comes up you’ve reached a point.  But here’s what I don’t get- we’re leaving and Tim says “well maybe if I get back in town early enough Sat we can do this again”.  Hmm.. really?  You were part of the Netflix convo too- is that normal for you?  Did you not notice the pauses and me stretching to talk about anything, not to mention that you left your phone out on the table the entire time and kept looking down to see who had texted/ called you? 

If Tim actually does get back in town early enough, and actually does call me, I think I’m going to pass…

Update:  Tim DID text me the next day to say how much fun he had (ookkk) but I didn’t write back.  I think he got the hint.

You again?

Guess who’s back—average sized non buckeye fan.  I was not planning on talking to this guy again, but with only one potential suitor at the moment I reply to his email since he did email me first and told me he isn’t talking to my friend anymore.  He FINALLY asks me out (FINALLY.)  For some reason I agree to meet him later in the evening (9 on a school night?) outside the loop.  I should have known the outcome.  Christopher arrives a little late (I’ve already started my beer) and gives me the once over.  He likes what he sees.  He then orders a hot chocolate.  At an irish pub.  Let me repeat- a hot chocolate.  At an irish bar.  Well, thanks for making me look like a lush dude.  He tells me he doesn’t drink beer.  Or gin.  Let me repeat- he doesn’t drink beer.  Or gin.  We chat for a while then he tells me how he has taken ball room dancing and likes to Samba and Salsa (“hips are good.” Looking down at my waist).  He then tells me his other talent- massage.  Reeealllly.  I’ve heard this one before.  Only half way through our beers (er, hot chocolate) I have been invited back to his house for a massage and a night cap.  On a school night??  Dude, I JUST met you… off the internet… WHAT?!  I decide one beer is enough, but not before Christopher is scrolling through his pics on his phone (not an iphone, grounds enough for no second date) to find a piece of art he’s working on.  He can’t seem to find the pic but “oh, now we’re in Rome, annnddd London”.  Well that was a casual way to tell me you’re well traveled.  As if the nail wasn’t already in the coffin, he also didn’t watch Match Madness.  I think I can just end this right here.

Sunday night messages

Got back from Nashville a little underwhelmed about the whole situation.  But then I realized it was Sunday night!  The best night of the week for online dating!!  People are at home alone thinking “wow, now the weekend is over and I have nobody to wake up to tomorrow.  I’m going to go send some winks.”  To my surprise I have a message from a fairly good looking man with MD in his name.  This would normally be a turn off (ok, I get it you’re a doctor) but again, I’m on this whole “give everyone a chance” kick.  I read his profile and hey, he actually seems like a pretty cool guy!  We have a lot of common interests and he’s just attractive enough- not too hot to be intimiating or to think this is a joke, but cute enough.  We exchange some messages and agree to go out.  He even picks my favorite local spot.  Things are looking up!

First Connections...

God a wink from a cutie!  I wink back and get a message back!  Things are moving along nicely.  Within the first 2 messages I learn that this man is 29, lives in the basement of his brother’s house, and hopes to get a full time job soon.  Oh, and he does Crossfit.  Cool.  Sike.  NEXT.

Saw a profile I really liked.  Has a job, went to college, lives outside the loop but I’m looking past that remember?  I message this boy.  He responds!  We seem to have some good banter, but he isn’t asking me out.  As much as I love expressing myself through written word, I’d like some in-person communication.  Unfortunately I’m leaving for the weekend for a friends 30^th birthday.  I tell him this and I say I’ll be sure to tell him all about it when I get back.  Flash forward 24 hours.  We’ve arrived in Nashville for the birthday celebrations.  A few margaritas in dating and boys come up.  Until this point the only person that knows of my online dating “adventures” (read: as boring as reading the Bible) is my sister.  I decided not to tell anyone to avoid the inevidable “OMG whats going on?!?!  Who have you made out with?!”.  One of the other bday guests says she’s on match and has been talking to Christopher, in fact, they are sleeping together.  At this point I  think “wow, I wonder how many Christophers are in Columbus, on Match, and actually go by Christopher (a little pretentious if you ask me).  So I ask, what is “Christopher’s” last name?  She tells me and I proceed to tell her that we have also been talking.  OUT OF ALL THE PEOPLE ON THIS SITE?!  WE HAVE PICKED THE SAME BOY??  And now she’s sleeping with him which basically means I’m supposed to surrender.  I’m a little pissed at this point because he was my only chance right now.  Even though I knew we would never work (he doesn’t like OSU?? Ookkkk) I was very discouraged that this is how things were working out.  She informed me of his average size ahem, assets, and we both agreed that he was probably not even close to being “the one” for either of us.

Welcome to my life...

Adventures in online dating:

So after NO such luck in the love department lately I decided to suck it up, swallow my pride, and fork over the $50 to join Match.  If nothing else I figured I’d get to meet some people and blah blah.  Let’s  get real- I was looking for some real dates, maybe an actual connection with someone.   I consider myself just OK at dating- really good at first dates (its basically like a job interview- you get to talk about yourself and only share the really awesome parts of your life) and then after that I usually get bored, irritated that you are texting me too much, or sad because you aren’t texting me enough.  I promised myself that this time I would be open to a broader selection of men (not just handsome, rich men that happen to live within my zip code) and make more first moves.  Here’s what happened…

Things started off slow- a lot of generic “hey” emails.  REeally?  “Hey”?  You think “hey” is going to get you a date with me?  If they went the extra mile to add “like your smile” I still passed.  Another rule I made- you profile pic means no talking.  You can’t even upload a pic??  Really??  To me that means you are either lazy and/ or ugly.  No thanks.

I should point out- I have met some very nice, normal people that things just didn’t “click”… those people aren’t part of this blog because I actually respect them and wish them good luck in their dating adventures.